O’re the Ramparts We Watched a Park Ranger’s Taser

February 19th, 2012
By Dave Mosher

Yesterday afternoon my family and I visited Fort McHenry National Monument, where the U.S. national anthem “The Star Spangled Banner” was born in 1814.

Our visit that day started wonderfully but ended unpleasantly when a National Park Service ranger aimed his taser at my father over… (drum roll) …an alleged dog-off-leash violation.

<Insert ironic statement about the location and nature of this incident. E.g. “So much for the ‘land of the free.’”>

At right is a picture of the vicious, nasty, terrifying, 14-pound and taser-worthy hell hound named Mac.

Mac tried to befriend the offending park ranger and his backup during the incident. After they ignored him, he eventually got bored and took a nap in the grass of the monument’s spacious east lawn.

Did the park ranger abuse his authority? That’s not my decision to make — I’ll leave that to his superiors and the courts. But the fact is he aimed a weapon at an unarmed person — aka my father — and shamed his family in broad daylight in a public park jam-packed with other families.

Make no mistake, this could have been a lethal confrontation. My father is not young, and even the low-amperage jolt of a taser can spur cardiac events.

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Decorate Your Desktop Space With Space

November 14th, 2011
By Dave Mosher

I’ll keep this short: I decided to give my boring computer background a makeover.

Naturally, this space dork grabbed some of his favorite images of the universe and cut them down to 1920×1200.

Below is a gallery of space things you, too, can use as computer backgrounds for your widescreen monitor.

Enjoy!

Dave Mosher = Month at the Museum 2 Finalist

September 27th, 2011
By Dave Mosher

Want to hear something crazy? The Museum of Science and Industry, Chicago is hosting a contest called Month at the Museum 2 for one lucky roommate to live, breathe and eat science within their walls for 30 days and 30 nights.

The winner would serve as the face of MSI Chicago during the day. At night, it’s nerd vs. museum: Submarines, spacesuits, Apollo 8, airplanes, a fairy castle, plastinates, tornadoes, a coal mine and even a little town. For their troubles? $10,000 and a pile of gadgets.

Two months ago I applied, and the craziness has now reached fever-pitch: I’m one of six of MATM2 finalists.

The museum whittled the competition down from about 1,000 talented, charismatic and very nerdy people who applied, but they now want your feedback.

If you think MSI needs a lot of Dave Mosher in its life, please vote once per day, now through Oct. 3, 2011 at MonthAtTheMuseum.org I’ll be at the museum the morning of Oct. 5, where they’ll announce the winner during a live event.

It literally takes seconds to cast a vote, but if you’re like me you may forget. So I’ve crafted these daily calendar reminder buttons to help you out — one click and you’re good to go:

  • Tuesday 9/27: 0
  • Wednesday 9/28: 0
  • Thursday 9/29: 0
  • Friday 9/30: 0
  • Saturday 10/1: 0
  • Sunday 10/2: 0
  • Monday: 10/3: 0

Note: User of other calendar software? Save this .ics file to your computer and open it.

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Why Are There Always So Many Over-Sized T-shirts?

September 25th, 2011
By Dave Mosher

At every footrace for charity, street promotion or anywhere else free clothing flies off card tables, you find them: Mountains of T-shirts multiple sizes too big for most people to wear.

Last week, for instance, I strolled into a room to collect my free Andrea Bocelli concert ticket and T-shirt. No mediums or smalls in sight. Just box upon box of large, XL and XXL. Being the scrawny lad I am, I left disappointed.

Why does this happen every single time?

I’m not here to poke fun at those struggling with a larger-than-desirable figure. Au contraire. I’m simply posing a question that has, apparently, stumped the brightest minds of this planet since the T-shirt screamed into popularity in the late 19th century (thanks, Europe).

The human race has done well up to this point. We’ve already solved the how-to-board-the-airplane-quickly problem, the my-table-is-wobbly problem and other civilization-crushing conundrums. Surely, then, some grand theorem exists that could save T-shirts from the waste bin?

Nope. I’ve searched the scientific literature far and wide, and nothing is to be found.

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NYC After Hurricane Irene, On a Bicycle

August 28th, 2011
By Dave Mosher

Hurricane Irene spat horizontal rain at New York City like pellets shot from a million bee-bee guns. She also blew 65 mph gusts of wind through the streets. That fatty storm (which was 500 miles wide at one point) even left about 650 downed trees in her wake ’round these parts.

From the vantage of a bike ride through three NYC borroughs, however, the city seems to have emerged mostly unscathed. Sans a few unlucky cars (see below).

In the days before Irene’s landfall, Kendra and I nested hardcore in our sixth-floor Queens apartment. We stocked up the refrigerator and pantry, busted out the candles and even did that apocalypse-ready maneuver of filling up the bathtub with water.

Along with our stranded special guest Lou Woodley of Nature (Irene swallowed up her hopes of returning to England Saturday night), we hunkered  down with some hurricane cocktails and a Harry Potter marathon.

That night we felt ready. Yet even with reports of Irene’s weakening, the rain spraying the windows and the wind howling through unseen cracks didn’t make for restless sleeping.

Our anxiety peaked around 4:00am this morning. That’s when Brookhaven National Laboratory’s automated emergency system called Kendra’s phone and told her about some tornadoes on Long Island. Yay.

You can prepare for excessive rain, horrific gusts of wind, no electricity and no water, but tornadoes? Not so much. You can only run like hell, half-asleep and half-naked, toward a basement and hope the building doesn’t collapse on you or impale you with broken window glass and debris.

Alas, we finally did fall asleep and awoke this morning to a bit of sunshine. A glance at an uplifting weather report later, curiosity bested us. We hopped on our bikes and pedaled around to survey the damage.

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A Longshot Tale of Family Debt

July 30th, 2011
By Dave Mosher

The third time is a charm, the saying goes.

I hope so.

I’m in Detroit for Kendra’s high school reunion, but it didn’t stop me from squeezing out a bit of writing. Below is my third raw and unedited submission to Longshot Magazine, whose ordained theme for this issue is debt.  The previous two stories I sent in perished during editorial review: one about the New Horizons spacecraft (for the hustle-themed issue) and the next about the Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer (for the comeback issue).

This time I stepped away from science and did a little in-family reporting on my last name. Which may or may not be Mosher, thanks to our gambling-rich bloodline.

I want to be skeptical that the core story is true, but something tells me that it is.

Anyway, enjoy. As an added bonus, I’ve posted the conversation I had with my father.

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